Delay

So I haven't posted in a while with an update on my life...well, here it is.

So my roommates moved out on Saturday, which is AWEfreakingSOME because now Brys and I have to whole house to ourselves. However, our roommates mother was paying for the internet; therefore, I am wireless webless. No internet. Consequently, I bought airtime on my phone thinking it would be great, but lo and behold, my phone can't do everything I want it to. For example, I can't check my UH email--my main email address, I can't look at my checking account, and I can't tend to my farm or chocolate factory on Facebook. Boohoo. lol. Oh wells.

Additionally, there has been a delay in our receiving of a house. So it turns out the company we are buying our house from had only purchased it in June, closing in July. Therefore, when you use a FHA loan, you cannot sell the house within 90 days or else it is considered a "flip" and is illegal. So! It looks like Brys and I will not be moving in until the end of the month or early December. What a headache considering that we are moving out of our house this Saturday because it needs to be professionally cleaned, pest controlled, and carpet cleaned. BLAH! So we are moving out stuff to...gosh knows where...my mom's? My grandma's? A storage unit? Who knows? AND we are moving in with my parents for at least a week plus. This is so frustrating! But at least we have somewhere we can go and not worry. Now, however, Brys and I will be sharing my old twin bed once again, which is ok because I love being close to my husband and Wahiawa nights get cold. At least, I suppose, I will be very close to my mom to help her out with anything she needs as she recovers.

So if you didn't know (and you read my blog or even glance at it) my mom went into surgery November 15 to reconnect her colon. Prior to this, she was on a "dodo" bag (for lack of a better term) for three months due to something that I can't quite remember what it's called right now. She says she is sore, but she is doing well. I hope that I will get to see her today, but who knows?

Also, today was the first time I ever took my kids on a field trip and it was sort of hellish. I got a couple emails from angry staff members because I didn't send my student list out on time and I didn't notify staff (not admin) about which EAs were coming on the field trip. It was also not as organized as I would have hoped and my bus (driven by my husband's good friend BTW) was delayed about 45 minutes because three girls decided they didn't want to listen to instructions when given and didn't show up to go to the bus. It was a B**** to get a hold of the girls and meet up with them to get them to the bus. But with that all said, the play itself, Hamlet, was awesome and I totally recommend it if you were considering watching it. It was funny and entertaining. Definitely saw some creative direction with the play.

Ok, gotta go. Be blessed and have a beautiful day!

Monay

Who knew that buying a home would be so expensive? There are so many hidden things...unforeseen things that I'm learning about everyday. For example, did you know that your savings can go in a matter of weeks due to fees and charges from Escrow companies or furniture. I think I dropped a couple grand today on house stuff. CRAZY! I keep watching the bills add up and our funds drop down...hopefully, it eventually only get's better from here? Did you also know that a dryer doesn't come with an electrical chord? You need to buy one! Did you know the old plantation style houses (like mine) are single walled so I have to buy a custom order door? Did you know that I have no idea how I'm going to hang pictures up in my house :-) without going through the wall? Did you know that if you want to measure your windows correctly for blinds that you need to measure it in SIX places? And they are EXPENSIVE! What a day. I'm pooped.

Forgiveness

Today my 11th grade students worked on a skill, "Listen and build upon others' ideas". Out of all the many topics that were brought up, forgiveness stood out the most to me. We talked about gay marriages, the right to choose your own path in life, etc., but it's forgiveness that leaves me with questions, comments, concerns. My students debated back and forth between "People deserve second chances." "People shouldn't be give second chances." "Why did they mess up to begin with? Doesn't that mean they will do it again?" "I'm sure all of you have been given a second chance at some point in your life." However, I've come to the conclusion, a conclusion that I've heard preached on before. Forgiveness is about the forgiver, not the one being given forgiveness. It's the forgiver who must decide whether or not they are willing, whether or not they are able to let go of the wrong committed against them. If they hold onto the pain, the anger, the hurt how can they heal? Even if the offender never asks for forgiveness in his or her life, isn't it you that suffers in the end? We can't control other's reactions, their feelings, or their thoughts, but we can control our own. Will you allow the transgressions of another imperfect being eat you alive? Will you allow it to affect the way you live? Do you choose to live in fear? Hate? Anger? How do you release those things other than through forgiveness? Who do you need to forgive today as I write this?

Interesting...Very Interesting

Yesterday was such a...DAY!

So my girlfriend's birthday was today; however, she spent the entire weekend partying and I was supposed to go with her on Saturday. But I thought I had this thing for my honor society, Pi Lambda Theta, Sunday morning. So I decided to bail on my friend because I was already tired and didn't want to be MORE tired since I decided to go out. How lame yeah? I know. Anyways, the next day I drove to KPT and found out that The Childrens' Fair was on Saturday, not Sunday. Not only did a miss out on helping my friend celebrate her birthday, I also missed Brys' first football game. I felt so horrible, I wanted to be there for both and I wasn't. Gee golly.

Later on Sunday we went fishing. It was such a beautiful day and I saw two sting rays dancing with each other in the ocean. It was beautiful. I wish that I had thought to use my camera and go take a picture of them. God is so amazing; it was also a beautiful evening there, we fished until appx. 9:00pm then went home. But the beauty of the moon shimmering off the ocean's surface was breath taking. The sillhouette of my husband standing on the reef waiting paitently for his catch was serene. It was beautiful, and I'm amazed at God's grace, that I am blessed to see the things that I see and appreciate them. May I never forget how blessed I am.

Today, driving up to work there was this big truck (like the kind with the stacks) blowing so much smog into the air that it filled the entire valley (between Mililani and Waipio). It was disgusting. How can we be so self-centered that we pollute our air like that, the air that MUST last us for the rest of eternity (however long that is) here on Earth. What a waste. RRR.

-Crystal

15%

That's how many students are failing my class, mainly due to not turning in work. Can anyone tell me what the purpose of coming to class is if you are not going to turn in your homework, do your projects, and write your essays? It just seems ridiculous to me. Why would I (as the student) waste my time going to the class if I wasn't going to put in any effort to pass? At least our tax paying money is paying for your education. It's not like you are loosing anything. It's not like college. So just quit school, get a job, and be all grown up waaaay too fast. OR go get high, live on the beach, beg for money, and steal it if you have to. What's the point right?

This is me concerned...not angry. Amazing! Children are amazing.

God is...

AMAZING. I look at my life and often forget how truly blessed I am. The grass is absolutely greener on my side of the fence, I wish I took the time to realize and look at it more often. Today's message at church was about this topic...in many ways. I am blessed.

So GREAT news!!!! I have one less thing to stress about in my life. Last week I was totally depressed and just worried about our house hunting problems, and today that is all over. My realtor called after church and told us that we got the house we were bidding on in Wahiawa, so now we start the escrow process. This is our 7th bid on a house, but our first in Wahiawa. Through the adventure we have seen how God has moved in this whole ordeal. First I get hired at Mililani High, the LAST school I ever wanted to be at. But then, I saw it as a way of moving home--to Wahiawa. Then we start looking at houses and I thought we couldn't afford anything in Wahiawa (it is rather expensive), so we were making bids in Ewa Beach only to get out bid every time. Finally, we took a chance, made some sacrifices of location over housing space, and we got an absolutely, totally amazing, completely beautiful, renovated 3 bedroom, 1 bath (this is the compromise) home. God you are so amazing. I am completely joyous and relieved at the same time, but best of all, my husband loves the house so much. I can't wait to get in there, start decorating, and beginning our lives where God has destined us to be from the beginning of time.

Lord you are so awesome, so worthy of all praises. Be blessed my dear friends, our God reigns from now until forever. The battles already been won.

Better Days

So I'm definitely feeling so much better today. My husband's awesome and I suppose that has a great deal to do with it all. He is a wonderful spiritual leader, something that I really need--and the job God gave him in our marriage...BTW, he's trying to dig my nose as I speak. So I figured that I'm going to just get through the week and let be what may be. I just feel honestly horrible in regards to all the stress I'm putting on my students because of quarter assessment. I'm so distracted I'll finish this later...
It's later, over 24 hours later to be exact. So today my false worries and anxieties fall upon my house hunting adventure, which hasn't turned out to be much of an adventure. We've seen so many houses I've lost track already, and we've bid on about 6 or 7 houses. It honestly get's so discouraging. We're making almost $90,000 combined between the two of us and we can't get a house, can't afford to bid what other people are bidding and feel comfortable, like we can pay a mortgage at "that" cost and afford to live. It's so heart breaking at times. I have such high hopes and dreams, and I can't believe how easily I let them get shattered. I've recently learned that I've lost the ability to see the good in something when it's right there. We had a house that had no offers on it, but it was a little more than what I thought we wanted to spend--HUGE house though, so we passed on it. After contemplation and being turned down once again, I decided it might be a good option after all, but now there's been offers and we're back at square one, with nothing. Our lease is up at the end of November, I'm ready to move.
The neighbors (our roommates) are moving out before the lease is up. I'm fine with that. Brys and I can handle the rent on our own now, but I'm not sure if they realize that they need to help pay Octobers utilities in November (when they are gone) and they need to help pay for the cleaning costs once we move out. It burdens me to talk money with them. I think they think I act like I know it all. I know that I am quite knowledgeable ;-), but I'm no know it all, I do know that. I need to learn how to be more approachable maybe. I have some attitude problems once in a while or come off as cold when I really mean to be nonchalant.
Oh, so about those the assessment I was talking about above. I found out about a week and a half ago that the material I was covering--thinking it was what was on the 12th grade assessment--wasn't what is being covered. Therefore, I had to force my students to read all kinds of crap and not be able to really discuss it with them. So now I feel horrible because since I am the new teacher, they get the shit end of the deal. I feel like they won't get the education that they would have with any other teacher on campus. I feel so sorry for them. My poor kids. All I can do I suppose is try to make next quarter a better one. I need to stay on top of my game and teach everything that needs to be taught, the way it should be taught.
So those are my random thoughts for now...as I sit on the toilet, my sanctuary for the moment. TMI? Sorry, better days tomorrow. :-)